You want to know how to get your ex back, and all your friends are offering you advice. And you’re probably hearing a lot of advice like, “Why do you want to get back with him at all?” That might be a good question to ask yourself, because you might be wanting something that’s not really good for you. But if you’re determined to learn how to get your ex back, there are 2 things you can do to increase your chances.

First, be as nice as you can possibly be. If that sounds like silly advice because you know you’re supposed to be nice, then realize there’s more to being nice that just smiling and being polite.

Think about the last several months or weeks of your relationship. Were you “nice?”  How did you treat your ex? How to get your ex back starts with treating them well.

How do you treat people that you encounter in a grocery store or at the post office?  Did you treat your ex with at least the same politeness and respect as you gave to strangers?

You might be surprised by your answers to that question. Often, it’s the people we’re the closest to and that we love the most that we treat the worst. Why we would treat strangers or mere acquaintances so sweetly and be downright rude and hurtful at times to those we love is a bit of mystery.

Now think back to when the relationship was new, and the level of “nice’ you used back then. Revert to that. It might not be easy, especially since you probably don’t spend as much time around your ex since you’re broken up. But when learning how to get your ex back, you’ll find ways to show him the person you once were.

Send a thoughtful or funny card that might remind your ex of the things you used to do when things were better. If you hear of something your ex did like getting a promotion or some other achievement, send him a note or a card of congratulations. Be extra sweet and thoughtful. If nothing else, you’ll feel better about yourself for doing so.

The second thing to do is stop begging the person to get back together with you. If you’ve made it clear you want to be with this person, they know it. Let it go. All you will do by constantly harping on your wishes is annoy them.

Spend that time being sweet and thoughtful instead. Show them why they should give you another chance instead of telling them to do so.

When you send a card or even make a quick phone call to offer congratulations (or encouragement if you know they’re having a hard time), don’t bring up your relationship at all.

Though you’re trying to figure out how to get your ex back, just concentrate on being a good friend so they can see why they were with you in the first place.